i am testing how much i love you, see?
i did not kiss the black eyed boy
who told me he is in love with me.
i did not hold hands with the brown eyed boy
who knows i will never date him.
i did not fuck the blue eyed boy
who turns my skin to fire.
i did not run away with the invisible boy
who makes my soul flutter.

i am testing how much i love you, see?
the black eyed boy gets close
enough to touch my heart, but i pull away.
the brown eyed boy touches
my hand, but i curl it into a fist.
the blue eyed boy sets me on fire,
but i use your deodorant as an extinguisher.
the invisible boy makes my head
spin, but i am already too insane for his games. 

i am testing how much i love you, see?
i’m an evil fucking bitch,
watch me twist like the devil out of their
grasp. watch me dance into your lap
and kiss your cheek. 
i do love you. i am just not used to
killing old birds with new stones
and i am not used to letting people
hold me at night and still want to be there
when the morning comes.

poetry spilled ink creative writing rejectscorner burningwords poem

let me break your heart

i am shattered; a broken
glass doll
in pieces on the floor. 
i will let you try to put me back
together, only to watch
you cut yourself open touching me. 
my heart is lava. you will
press yours to mine the way a child
presses two dolls together
to kiss. you will melt.
my heart will sear my name
into your flesh. scream in pain.
wail into my neck.
i will not listen.
this is all a game, a cat chasing
mouse. i have caught you
and i am playing with you,
until you slowly die.

you can capture my heart,
for a while,
but don’t forget, i am always
one step ahead, ready to run,
to find the new thrill,
the new chase. 
you will never mean anything more
to me than another successful

(a leopard never changes
her spots)

poetry spilled ink creative writing rejectscorner poem writing

Anonymous asked:

You're a wonderful writer! I hate to see you feeling down. You're a great inspiration to me - reading your work makes me want to write something myself if only to be even as remotely creative as you

writing by ella Answer:

thank you, kind anon <3 this is so lovely, but please, write, creating comes from inside and if you don’t let nothing out the creative bits that sometimes hide behind other stuff won’t come out <3 keep writing, or start, you’ll be amazing, i’m sure <3

my stomach is a wind turbine.
i am screaming out of my soul and into my palms
falls your name
i want to love you like nobody else has
i want to love you for all the chances
we missed at holding each other at night
i want to kiss you and kiss you and kiss you
and not worry that tomorrow
something (or someone) might take you from me.
you are a sideways promise
attached to a question mark, but boy
would i give all my answers just to hold your hand.

poetry spilled ink creative writing rejectscorner poem

Anonymous asked:

Will you write a poem for cutting and a poem for anorexia?

writing by ella Answer:

Hello! Whilst I’d love to write you some now, I’m going to have to link you to some old(old) poems on the subject - i’m awfully busy with sorting out my book. But once I have time I will try to write something about the topics for you. :)

If not, here is one i wrote about anorexia (a very long time ago) , and her is a poem about self harm i wrote not so long ago 

If you are (or anybody reading this is) struggling with the issues mentioned, a great site I used when I was having a really rough time a few months back was the childline online web chat. It connects you with a counsellor who you can talk to via an instant messenger. I honestly can’t stress enough how much just one conversation with someone helped me when I felt suicidal and had self harming urges.

Please, if you feel low or ever need anyone to talk to, try this site. And if not, I am always here to talk. x

trigger warning